Cultivating a positive body image while healing your relationship with food is a difficult but important step in your journey to food freedom. It is hard to give up dieting when you are in constant fear of what will happen to your body.
It’s true for many people that body image may improve with weight loss. However, I have found that this is fleeting. When we tie our self worth to societal ideals it is never grounded in true self acceptance. Instead, we are always waiting for and fearful of when our body will change, and there is always something else to feel insecure about.
Shifting toward body and size acceptance helps us make peace with food because we aren’t so tied to how the food will change our body.
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Why do we struggle with body image?
As a dietitian, body image comes up often in my sessions with clients, and for years it always felt like an abstract thing I needed to talk about, but never felt like I had a concrete handle on it.
Here’s what I have come to understand about where body image struggles stem from. When you can identify your own story, it helps direct interventions and coping strategies.
Socio-cultural
Socio-cultural factors in poor body image feel like the most obvious to me. We live in a society that constantly tells us that thin, white, young, and able-bodies are the most valuable. Of course we’re going to have body image struggles when we only see these bodies represented in the media.
Furthermore, most of us have had some external perceptions of our body – parents, medical providers, teachers, friends, peers, and partners likely have had some opinion on the shape and size of our bodies. Comments and perceptions can stick with us for a lifetime.
Weight stigma
Extending from the socio-cultural perspective, the impact of weight stigma from the medical community can influence how you feel about your body. Weight stigma is the discrimination or stereotyping of people based on their weight or body size. If you are in a larger body, you might avoid going to the doctor because of their perceptions of you or your body. I’ve had clients feel like they need to lose weight before they go back and see their doctor. This type of negative body image is unfortunately based in reality – weight stigma certainly does exist. In this case, “reframing negative thoughts” doesn’t necessarily help.
Mis-attribution of negative thoughts/feelings
When we live in a culture that values a certain body type and when we aren’t taught how to feel and cope with big emotions, bodies can easily become a scapegoat. This means that uncomfortable emotions such as failure, inadequacy, and lack of acceptance can lead us to redirect these emotions onto our bodies. Rather than attributing these feelings to ourselves, we shift the blame to our body. This gives us a tangible explanation for this feeling. And, theoretically, we can change our body size, so it allows us to bypass the emotion and jump right to how-can-I-fix-this-problem i.e. manipulate the size of my body.
Sensory processing
If you are highly sensitive, neurodivergent, and/or struggle with sensory processing, any body change can certainly affect how you feel about your body. Weight gain is usually associated with increased sensory challenges because you may have clothes fitting tighter, skin rubbing/chafing that didn’t used to, visual changes in the mirror, and even temperature regulation changes (though these can happen with weight loss too.)
Body functioning
Body changes that influence how your body functions can affect body image. With weight gain often comes challenges with movement, like putting on shoes, walking upstairs, and participating in sports/activities, not to mention simply existing in a straight-sized world. Seeing this change in function can be a constant reminder that your body is different or “wrong”.
Sense of self/identity
Many tie their sense of self and identity to their body; or, more specifically as it relates to body image, what their body looks like or is perceived as. E.g. you were very thin growing up and since having kids you don’t look like yourself, therefore you diet as a means to regain your sense of self and identity.
Did I miss anything?
Can you think of other reasons you might struggle with body image?
Where does your body image story come from?
Getting to the route of your body image story takes introspection and self compassion. Grab a journal (or a journaling app like How We Feel) and reflect on your life.
- What messages have you received about your body, or bodies in general?
- How do you feel about feelings?
- What is it like to exist in your body?
- What is it physically like for you when your body changes?
- What would it be like for others to perceive your body as having changed?
- How has dieting affected your body?
(You can see how this easily overlaps with therapy! This is an important topic to discuss there too)
What would you like your relationship with your body to be like?
Brainstorm what you would like your relationship with your body to look like.
- How is your perception of your body holding you back?
- If you could wave a magic wand and have your “ideal body”, what would you do differently in life?
- Why is this important to you?
Finding support in your journey to body acceptance
After identifying your body image story, or where your body image hiccups happen, you can start to find appropriate support.
| Body Struggle | Things to help cope |
| Socio-cultural and weight stigma | Find support, e.g. support groups, therapy, social media, weight-inclusive providersSet boundaries around body/diet talk |
| Mis-attribution of uncomfortable thoughts/emotions | Recognition and cognitive reframes, if helpfulTherapy to identify and cope with emotionsConsider neurodivergent approaches if applicable |
| Sensory processing challenges | Invest in comfortable clothing (Check out this plus-sized clothing database!)Consider thrifting, borrowing, and clothing rental servicesUse of anti-chafe products and skin protectants |
| Body functioning | Seek out size-inclusive medical providersConsider meeting with a size-inclusive PT, OT, personal trainer, or group fitness instructor for modifications (I often recommend Current Wellness in Raleigh) |
| Sense of self/identify | Explore mindfulness practices that help you feel like yourself, independent of body sizeFind a therapist you connect with |
Moving forward with body image and embodiment
Body image refers to how you and others perceive your body. It starts and seems to stay in your brain.
Embodiment refers to existing “in your body” through the use of all of your senses, e.g. being grounded and mindful of sensations. As someone who is pretty literal and analytical, this ambiguous topic has been hard for me to grasp and I’m not certain I’ve even got it now. But, it is important to consider when it comes to moving forward with body acceptance.
Here’s how I understand it and how I explain to my clients:
You look at yourself in the mirror, your stomach turns to knots because you don’t like the way you look – your stomach is protruding and you’re having a bad hair day.
In traditional body image work, we are taught to reframe negative thoughts about our bodies, and subsequently we feel better. It starts with our brain. So, you shift your thinking:
I like my eyes, this shirt flatters my arms, and most people aren’t looking at my stomach; they’re thinking about themselves. You read body positive mantras before going into the office.
All of this is likely true, and mantras are lovely. You feel a little better, but the knot in your stomach doesn’t fully go away. This is called “top-down” thinking.
With an “embodied” or “bottom-up” approach, we address it differently. We start with our body sensations.
I’m feeling sleepy, I was stressing about my deadline all night. This could make-or-break my career. I want to be taken seriously in this role. Man, this waistband is so itchy! My heart is racing, I had too much coffee. I’ll take some deep breaths and eat breakfast to see if it helps settle my stomach, and I’ll wear a dress instead.
Rather than reframing your way out of a spiral, you want to tune into and listen to your body cues. Research shows that comforting and relaxing your body can relax your mind, and not necessarily the other way around. So wearing comfortable clothes and meeting your needs might help you feel better about your body.
Understanding your body image “story”, or where your body baggage comes from, is important so you can move forward appropriately. Reframing negative thoughts about your body is a great technique, but it won’t work well for you if you are overwhelmed with sensory stuff and a lost sense of self.
Conclusion
Cultivating a positive body image is hard work, but is an important step on the journey to healing your relationship with food.
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